


prayer

by mothdotjpeg



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angels, Childhood Memories, M/M, Nostalgia, Original Character(s), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, queer romance short story ya know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28424070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothdotjpeg/pseuds/mothdotjpeg
Summary: an original short story about a boy and the angel who lives in his room.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> legit i've written this at 1am on a few different nights and i usually don't share original work here but hey why not

it didn't exactly just start one night. at first it was just wind, just a light post outside. the way the snow made then sky off black instead of its normal abyss. a few days bad sleep, we all get used to winter though. get used to the way our curtains don't block out the light all the way or the way the heat seemed to start at 3am. that's just the way it was. i didn't get used to it. it should snow before christmas not after. it was one night, then three. then a week. but i wasn't tired. not really. i ate dinner at 9pm one night, didn't sleep for a month. the darkness was nice, the glow of the snow. who knew nostalgia tasted like snow.   
it didn't start all of the sudden. but it ended like that. the flip of a switch. and my room became too dark. the snow melted, the restless nights gone. i fell asleep at 10pm. i ate dinner at six. things were normal.   
"i miss you." id pray from my bunk bed, legs dangling. i didn't kneel for Him, He laughed whenever i did. He never responded to my prayers- although i guess the 10 hours of sleep were responses enough.


	2. Chapter 2

one day my mom found me asleep at 1pm without eating lunch. she shook me awake, climbing into my bunk bed with me.   
"mom?" i huffed as i had sat up, realizing my glasses were smushed up my nose.   
"are you okay?" she always sounded worried, i never knew why. i shrugged, clawing my hair back into its place. the worry in her eyes made my stomach gurgle.   
"yeah, mom. i just fell asleep." i hated when she shook her head- i wasn't always lying. i had just fallen asleep.   
"you seem lonely." i scoffed and climbed out of my bed, the blankets following me to the floor. the fabric was nice to ball in my hand as i retrieved it from the carpet that held my childhood.   
"i'm fine." my mom dodged the blanket ball as i threw it onto my mattress, the one that held much more than my childhood.   
"you can be fine and lonely." i looked at where she sat, leaning against the wall. it was always funny to see her up there. in my nest.   
"well okay then." she tilted her head and held the blankets in a hug to her chest.   
"so you are lonely." i wished she asked. not that i'd have a response. i grumbled as i sank to the floor to dig through my sock drawer. her eyes were looming, but hallow in comparison to who used to watch me. shake of my head, socks on feet, my skin itched.   
"lonely!" she yelled as i abandoned her in my room. so i was lonely. it didn't matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah my copy paste mom character as per usual HDHDHS we love her tho


	3. Chapter 3

"i have faith." it was the first thing i told Him. before i could see Him or touch Him. having faith wasn't hard, not when you haven't slept in two weeks. not when you didn't feel hungry anymore. i don't know how i knew, or when. but i did have faith.   
"okay." it was crisp and aching. gravel against my back. to be honest, maybe i hadn't fully believed till then.   
"okay?" the innocence of a whisper at 2am. not wanting to wake my parents. my eyes had closed at some point, maybe when the goosebumps had rippled my skin. it was cold, the heater hadn't turned on yet.  
He had remained silent the rest of that night. i was okay with that. okay smiling at my ceiling till the sun rose.


	4. Chapter 4

"i'm not the praying type," smiling at the ceiling had worked fine for a few days, but already i missed His voice. one word. so there i was, kneeling on my bed, hands clasped together, eyes closed. i hoped i was doing it right.   
"then don't pray." the room was hot. making me wanna rip my skin off.   
"you gonna stop me?" He didn't respond. i waited. and waited. "okay then." i shook my head, opened one eyes to make sure the room was still lit up with snow. "okay then."


	5. Chapter 5

my prayers didn't make sense for awhile. i didn't know what i wanted after all. when the sun rose id give up. spent my day writing ideas on recites and scrap paper. my mom would look at me weird, i ignored her. after a month of silent responses, bruises on my knees, and paper cuts, i went silent too. not that He was silent per-say. He was always there. sitting at the end of my bed, or watching from the corner of my room. i just missed His voice.   
"what's this?" He finally asked after a busy night. my comforter was covered in the notes. the recites and sketchbook pages.  
"come look for yourself." i liked to offer Him the space, tired of the shadow i lived with.   
He didn't come. i spent the next few nights of the floor. not wanting to disrupt the written prayer i had presented.


	6. Chapter 6

"i drew you." i started a week later, having moved my notes to the floor. criss-cross applesauce on my wrecked sheets, the nest was extra messy tonight. i hoped He didn't mind.   
"can i see?" i laughed and shook my head, so much for all-seeing eyes. "what's funny?" and i couldn't explain it. just like the nostalgic snow or the sheer curtains- it just felt normal. but i didn't have to turn to see Him next to me. i'd have been met with the shadow, with the flicker of the light post. but it didn't matter. my eyes were trained on the journal i kept under my bed most days.   
"nothing, here." i turned it so He could see it better, not looking away from the mess of charcoal pencil on the paper.   
"that's how you see me?" He was chatty that night. most He'd ever spoken to me, i didn't want Him to stop. it was so rich and it tasted like a rocky beach.   
"yeah." the question was so innocent. it made me wanna reach out and touch Him.   
"it's beautiful." there was a sad smile in His voice. i wanted to lean my head on His shoulder- maybe i got attached too quickly.   
"exactly." He spent the rest of the night in His corner. i wondered what i said wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

"are you okay?" eventually i started to miss not sleeping, my face shoved into my pillow and my knees curled up to my chest. the stuffed animals that still call my mattress home nestled close to my body. not asleep, just thinking. His voice felt ticklish against my hipbones and i rolled onto my back to greet the ceiling.   
"yeah, why?" He was hesitant, i didn't know why He sounded so unsure.   
"you're crying, ivo." and fuck. the way my name rolled down my body and made me shiver. the popcorn ceiling, bright with snow. i wanted Him to say it again, it made me laugh.  
"what, no. i'm not crying." clumsily moving my blankets so i could sit up and toy with my sheets, closing my eyes as i waited for His response.   
"ivo," He sounded worried, i didn't like to bother but He sounded worried. from the corner where His shadow had been stuck ever since He saw my drawing, not daring to climb onto the end of my bed like He used too. i missed it. i didn't mention it when i prayed. i laughed again, at the crisp "v" that make my spine twitch. He was silent. i felt those eyes, from the corner. the carpet. i wondered if He could feel it, the carpet. i hoped.   
"i like the way you say my name." when i opened my eyes i could tell me moved. no more sitting in the corner by my bookshelf, no. he was standing dead center of the room, head titled. watching me. i let my head drop, looked at the fabric between my crossed legs. "why are you here?" i asked. the next few days i had to pray the question, he stayed in the snow instead of on the carpet. it made my knees hurt.


	8. Chapter 8

"do you even hear the prayers?" i had taped the recites to my wall and given up, my mom had asked what they meant but i shrugged her off and skipped lunch.   
"yeah, of course." of course. that made me sigh is content ness and embarrassment, i had begun to pray instead of dream. He had heard a lot.   
"then why do you go away sometimes?" it sounded stupid spoken allowed, like i was clingy to the figure who stayed with me at night. i was, i admitted that since His shadow first caught my eye.   
"i don't have to answer them." i liked it when He wasn't just the curtains or the hot air, i preferred when he sat in my floor or leaned on the window sill. maybe i just convinced myself he was becoming more real, less of a shadow. i hoped i wasn't imagining it.   
"so you listen and don't take action?" if i looked i didn't see, but from the corner of my eye i could see Him watching me. a soft smile as he listened, a shake of his shadowy head.   
"so you ask me instead of taking action?" did He laugh as He spoke? it made my stomach twist, it made my hands tingle. i squeezed my eyes closed and bit my tongue .   
"you're the angel!" He laughed fully this time. it made me feel full and hallow at the same time. the snow outside felt brighter, the light post flickered faster. it was magical. my hands tingled for days.


End file.
